|
Sprinkler Systems
Uhaul move
Lawn care
Roses and trees
Ford Parts
Chrysler Parts
Lake Powell
New IPod Touch Apps
New IPhone Apps
IPhone Apps
IPad Information
IPad Apps
Android APPS
Android Games APPS
Android Systems
Android Tablets APPS and Beyond
Smartphone Apps
Smartphone Games Apps Repair and Tools
Tablet PC
Car Sharing Car Leasing
Tabler Pc
Fly Fishing
Toyota Cars
Vacation Rentals
Stock market
NYSE
SSE Stock
Freight & Shipping News
Gluten
Lactose
Gout
My Coupon Life
Campgrounds Check
Outdoor
Kitchen Design and Redoo
Bath Remodeling
Palm Springs
Las Vegas Vacation Tipps
Lake Powell Boating
Homes for lease
Electric and green Car Blog
Pearls and diamonds
Whatsapp and forget SMS Blog, What is Whatsapp App
Solar Panel Solar Energie Sun Power Blog
|
Science Fiction » alt.fan.starwars » [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
| [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #42787] |
Mo, 23 Mai 2005 18:20 |
|
Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
formerly two-armed contestant.
Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
button.
Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
lines.
Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
cash.
That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
Vader's grill.
To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
"Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
bastard adopts him!
It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
relationship with Han.
Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
the dork side.
Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
before?
Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
Mother F*cker."
Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
"Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
instructor.
Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
other than Jude Frickin' Law!
Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
theory.
A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
half-brother Ginko Biloba.
Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
hemmorhdroids!
The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
his ass.
Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
night light.
Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
Anakin is a sled.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #42805 ] |
Mo, 23 Mai 2005 18:43 |
|
On Mon, 23 May 2005 12:20:47 -0400, Stan Jensen <spam [at] wonderful.spam>
wrote, in part:
> and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
>Anakin is a sled.
Somebody else already made *that* movie... and, come to think about it,
it was all about someone else's journey to the Dark Side, after starting
out as a crusading newspaper publisher. And, come to think of it,
getting involved with a woman played a big part in his transformation!
But I think it's clear that Rosebud is *Shmi*.
John Savard
http://www.quadibloc.com/index.html
_________________________________________
Usenet Zone Free Binaries Usenet Server
More than 120,000 groups
Unlimited download
http://www.usenetzone.com to open account
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #42850 ] |
Mo, 23 Mai 2005 20:24 |
|
|
Yeah - but do you have anything that's funny?
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #42853 ] |
Mo, 23 Mai 2005 20:31 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
>
> Anakin is a sled.
Beautiful!!
Pol'
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #53106 ] |
Fr, 03 Juni 2005 10:27 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
>
> After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
>
> Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
>
> Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> formerly two-armed contestant.
>
> Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
>
> Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> button.
>
> Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
>
> Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> lines.
>
> Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
>
> Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> cash.
>
> That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> Vader's grill.
>
> To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
>
> We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
>
> Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
>
> Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
>
> Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
>
> "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
>
> After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
>
> Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
>
> Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
>
> Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
>
> Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> bastard adopts him!
>
> It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> relationship with Han.
>
> Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> the dork side.
>
> Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
>
> PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
>
> Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> before?
>
> Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
>
> The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
>
> The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
>
> The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> Mother F*cker."
>
> Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
>
> George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> instructor.
>
> Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
>
> Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> other than Jude Frickin' Law!
>
> Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> theory.
>
> A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
>
> In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
>
> The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> half-brother Ginko Biloba.
>
> Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
>
> It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> hemmorhdroids!
>
> The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
>
> Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
>
> That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> his ass.
>
> Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> night light.
>
> Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
>
> and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
>
> Anakin is a sled.
Senator Bail Organia sponsors the Empire Patriot Act.
Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
A major scandal erupts over cost overruns for the Death Star.
The Moral Majority lambastes Padme for having kids out of wedlock (since
she and Anakin were keeping their marriage a secret). (How was Padme
explaining her pregnancy?).
Amnesty Interstellar accuses Anakin of massacring native populations on
Tatooine.
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #53114 ] |
Fr, 03 Juni 2005 10:38 |
|
Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
>
>
I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
speech.
:-)
I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
the movie balcony.
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #53841 ] |
Fr, 03 Juni 2005 12:53 |
|
Cheeze wrote:
> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> >
> >
>
> I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> speech.
> :-)
>
> I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
> the movie balcony.
LOL!
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #53845 ] |
Fr, 03 Juni 2005 13:38 |
|
"Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
>Tim Bruening wrote:
>> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
>I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
>speech.
>I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
>the movie balcony.
Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #53861 ] |
Fr, 03 Juni 2005 16:39 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42A01473.6D2CE320 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Stan Jensen wrote:
>
> > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> >
> > After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> > spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> > his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
> >
> > Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
> >
> > Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> > formerly two-armed contestant.
> >
> > Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
> >
> > Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> > button.
> >
> > Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> > by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
> >
> > Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> > lines.
> >
> > Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> > Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
> >
> > Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> > cash.
> >
> > That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> > Vader's grill.
> >
> > To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> > Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> > with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
> >
> > We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> > his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
> >
> > Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> > Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
> >
> > Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
> >
> > Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
> >
> > "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> > shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
> >
> > After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> > Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
> >
> > Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
> >
> > Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
> >
> > Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> > appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
> >
> > Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> > bastard adopts him!
> >
> > It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> > relationship with Han.
> >
> > Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> > the dork side.
> >
> > Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
> >
> > PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> > steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
> >
> > Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> > before?
> >
> > Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
> >
> > The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
> >
> > The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
> >
> > The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> > Mother F*cker."
> >
> > Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> > "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
> >
> > George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> > instructor.
> >
> > Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
> >
> > Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> > other than Jude Frickin' Law!
> >
> > Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> > theory.
> >
> > A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> > lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
> >
> > In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
> >
> > The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> > half-brother Ginko Biloba.
> >
> > Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
> >
> > It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> > hemmorhdroids!
> >
> > The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
> >
> > Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> > ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
> >
> > That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> > his ass.
> >
> > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > night light.
> >
> > Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
> >
> > and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
> >
> > Anakin is a sled.
>
> Senator Bail Organia sponsors the Empire Patriot Act.
>
> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
>
> A major scandal erupts over cost overruns for the Death Star.
>
> The Moral Majority lambastes Padme for having kids out of wedlock (since
> she and Anakin were keeping their marriage a secret). (How was Padme
> explaining her pregnancy?).
>
> Amnesty Interstellar accuses Anakin of massacring native populations on
> Tatooine.
>
Lucky there wasn't a charater called Elohin. That would have caused a bit of
trouble!
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #53862 ] |
Fr, 03 Juni 2005 16:41 |
|
"Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1117789564.519646.323260 [at] g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> >
> >
>
> I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> speech.
> :-)
>
> I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
> the movie balcony.
>
Falling from the balcony in a British Cinema: A circulation problem.
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #57655 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 08:37 |
|
Captain Murphy wrote:
> "Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
> >Tim Bruening wrote:
> >> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> >I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> >speech.
> >I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
> >the movie balcony.
>
> Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to Tatooine
to have sex with Anakin's mother?
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #57656 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 08:39 |
|
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42A01473.6D2CE320 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Stan Jensen wrote:
> >
> > > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> > >
> > > After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> > > spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> > > his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
> > >
> > > Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
> > >
> > > Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> > > formerly two-armed contestant.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
> > >
> > > Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> > > button.
> > >
> > > Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> > > by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
> > >
> > > Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> > > lines.
> > >
> > > Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> > > Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
> > >
> > > Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> > > cash.
> > >
> > > That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> > > Vader's grill.
> > >
> > > To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> > > Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> > > with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
> > >
> > > We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> > > his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
> > >
> > > Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> > > Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
> > >
> > > Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
> > >
> > > Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
> > >
> > > "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> > > shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
> > >
> > > After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> > > Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
> > >
> > > Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
> > >
> > > Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
> > >
> > > Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> > > appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
> > >
> > > Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> > > bastard adopts him!
> > >
> > > It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> > > relationship with Han.
> > >
> > > Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> > > the dork side.
> > >
> > > Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
> > >
> > > PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> > > steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
> > >
> > > Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> > > before?
> > >
> > > Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
> > >
> > > The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
> > >
> > > The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
> > >
> > > The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> > > Mother F*cker."
> > >
> > > Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> > > "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
> > >
> > > George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> > > instructor.
> > >
> > > Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
> > >
> > > Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> > > other than Jude Frickin' Law!
> > >
> > > Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> > > theory.
> > >
> > > A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> > > lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
> > >
> > > In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
> > >
> > > The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> > > half-brother Ginko Biloba.
> > >
> > > Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
> > >
> > > It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> > > hemmorhdroids!
> > >
> > > The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
> > >
> > > Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> > > ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
> > >
> > > That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> > > his ass.
> > >
> > > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > > night light.
> > >
> > > Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
> > >
> > > and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
> > >
> > > Anakin is a sled.
> >
> > Senator Bail Organia sponsors the Empire Patriot Act.
> >
> > Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> >
> > A major scandal erupts over cost overruns for the Death Star.
> >
> > The Moral Majority lambastes Padme for having kids out of wedlock (since
> > she and Anakin were keeping their marriage a secret). (How was Padme
> > explaining her pregnancy?).
> >
> > Amnesty Interstellar accuses Anakin of massacring native populations on
> > Tatooine.
> >
>
> Lucky there wasn't a charater called Elohin. That would have caused a bit of
> trouble!
How and why?
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #57658 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 08:41 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
>
> After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
>
> Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
>
> Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> formerly two-armed contestant.
>
> Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
>
> Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> button.
>
> Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
>
> Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> lines.
>
> Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
>
> Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> cash.
>
> That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> Vader's grill.
>
> To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
>
> We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
>
> Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
>
> Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
>
> Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
>
> "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
>
> After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
>
> Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
>
> Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
>
> Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
>
> Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> bastard adopts him!
>
> It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> relationship with Han.
>
> Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> the dork side.
>
> Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
>
> PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
>
> Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> before?
>
> Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
>
> The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
>
> The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
>
> The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> Mother F*cker."
>
> Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
>
> George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> instructor.
>
> Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
>
> Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> other than Jude Frickin' Law!
>
> Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> theory.
>
> A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
>
> In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
>
> The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> half-brother Ginko Biloba.
>
> Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
>
> It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> hemmorhdroids!
>
> The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
>
> Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
>
> That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> his ass.
>
> Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> night light.
>
> Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
>
> and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
>
> Anakin is a sled.
The opposition party accuses Palpatine's party of stealing the election.
The Republic buys election software from Diebold.
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58271 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 12:58 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42A7E3B1.710091A9 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Captain Murphy wrote:
>
> > "Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
> > >Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> > >I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> > >speech.
> > >I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
> > >the movie balcony.
> >
> > Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
>
> In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to
Tatooine
> to have sex with Anakin's mother?
>
Was there a character called Toluene by any chance? A glue-sniffer with a
flaming temper who Asbestine protected everyone from?
And was Papatine married to Mamatine? And what about the bald headed
character, Ovaltine?
Seriously - if a film uses a childish formula for the names of its
characters, it's certain to be crap! I've already heard it described as all
special effects and no story, with poor, self-conscious acting.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58273 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 13:03 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42A7E439.EAAF1BE [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42A01473.6D2CE320 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > Stan Jensen wrote:
> > >
> > > > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> > > >
> > > > After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> > > > spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> > > > his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
> > > >
> > > > Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
> > > >
> > > > Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by
a
> > > > formerly two-armed contestant.
> > > >
> > > > Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
> > > >
> > > > Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended
belly
> > > > button.
> > > >
> > > > Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the
Empire
> > > > by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the
filibuster.
> > > >
> > > > Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> > > > lines.
> > > >
> > > > Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on
the
> > > > Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
> > > >
> > > > Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> > > > cash.
> > > >
> > > > That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> > > > Vader's grill.
> > > >
> > > > To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> > > > Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen
time
> > > > with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
> > > >
> > > > We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> > > > his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
> > > >
> > > > Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> > > > Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
> > > >
> > > > Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
> > > >
> > > > Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
> > > >
> > > > "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> > > > shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
> > > >
> > > > After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> > > > Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
> > > >
> > > > Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth
V.
> > > >
> > > > Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
> > > >
> > > > Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> > > > appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
> > > >
> > > > Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> > > > bastard adopts him!
> > > >
> > > > It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> > > > relationship with Han.
> > > >
> > > > Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power
of
> > > > the dork side.
> > > >
> > > > Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
> > > >
> > > > PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> > > > steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
> > > >
> > > > Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> > > > before?
> > > >
> > > > Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
> > > >
> > > > The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
> > > >
> > > > The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
> > > >
> > > > The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> > > > Mother F*cker."
> > > >
> > > > Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> > > > "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
> > > >
> > > > George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> > > > instructor.
> > > >
> > > > Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
> > > >
> > > > Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> > > > other than Jude Frickin' Law!
> > > >
> > > > Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for
*that*
> > > > theory.
> > > >
> > > > A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then
swiftly
> > > > lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
> > > >
> > > > In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
> > > >
> > > > The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> > > > half-brother Ginko Biloba.
> > > >
> > > > Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
> > > >
> > > > It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> > > > hemmorhdroids!
> > > >
> > > > The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
> > > >
> > > > Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> > > > ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W.
Palpatine.
> > > >
> > > > That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed
Skywalker
> > > > his ass.
> > > >
> > > > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > > > night light.
> > > >
> > > > Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his
skivvies.
> > > >
> > > > and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
> > > >
> > > > Anakin is a sled.
> > >
> > > Senator Bail Organia sponsors the Empire Patriot Act.
> > >
> > > Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> > >
> > > A major scandal erupts over cost overruns for the Death Star.
> > >
> > > The Moral Majority lambastes Padme for having kids out of wedlock
(since
> > > she and Anakin were keeping their marriage a secret). (How was Padme
> > > explaining her pregnancy?).
> > >
> > > Amnesty Interstellar accuses Anakin of massacring native populations
on
> > > Tatooine.
> > >
> >
> > Lucky there wasn't a charater called Elohin. That would have caused a
bit of
> > trouble!
>
> How and why?
>
It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as YxxH and
it's the root of the word Allah.
Might have had some of the more learned of Alcy Aida's
tyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsts blowing up cinemas.
G*d? YxxH?
Yeah. I don't want to get stoned, whether or not John Cleese blows his
whistle!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58274 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 13:10 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42A7E4B0.69C77802 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Stan Jensen wrote:
>
> > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> >
> > After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> > spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> > his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
> >
> > Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
> >
> > Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> > formerly two-armed contestant.
> >
> > Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
> >
> > Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> > button.
> >
> > Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> > by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
> >
> > Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> > lines.
> >
> > Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> > Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
> >
> > Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> > cash.
> >
> > That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> > Vader's grill.
> >
> > To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> > Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> > with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
> >
> > We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> > his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
> >
> > Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> > Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
> >
> > Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
> >
> > Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
> >
> > "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> > shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
> >
> > After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> > Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
> >
> > Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
> >
> > Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
> >
> > Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> > appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
> >
> > Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> > bastard adopts him!
> >
> > It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> > relationship with Han.
> >
> > Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> > the dork side.
> >
> > Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
> >
> > PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> > steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
> >
> > Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> > before?
> >
> > Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
> >
> > The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
> >
> > The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
> >
> > The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> > Mother F*cker."
> >
> > Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> > "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
> >
> > George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> > instructor.
> >
> > Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
> >
> > Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> > other than Jude Frickin' Law!
> >
> > Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> > theory.
> >
> > A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> > lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
> >
> > In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
> >
> > The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> > half-brother Ginko Biloba.
> >
> > Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
> >
> > It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> > hemmorhdroids!
> >
> > The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
> >
> > Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> > ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
> >
> > That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> > his ass.
> >
> > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > night light.
> >
> > Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
> >
> > and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
> >
> > Anakin is a sled.
>
Why has it got a proper name then? If they give inanimate objects pet proper
names the film's going to be even worse than I thought! Dumbed down for the
kids! Having the two funny robots was bad enough!
> The opposition party accuses Palpatine's party of stealing the election.
>
> The Republic buys election software from Diebold.
The Bold usually die before the meek, as in . .
There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots -
But there are no old, bold pilots.
(Some Mothers do 'av 'em.)
It's also why there's a death march in the middle of Beethoven's Eroica
Symphony.
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58329 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 18:06 |
|
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42A7E3B1.710091A9 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>>
>>Captain Murphy wrote:
>>
>>
>>>"Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
>>>
>>>>Tim Bruening wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
>>>>
>>>>I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
>>>>speech.
>>>>I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
>>>>the movie balcony.
>>>
>>>Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
>>
>>In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to
>
> Tatooine
>
>>to have sex with Anakin's mother?
>>
>
> Was there a character called Toluene by any chance? A glue-sniffer with a
> flaming temper who Asbestine protected everyone from?
>
> And was Papatine married to Mamatine? And what about the bald headed
> character, Ovaltine?
>
> Seriously - if a film uses a childish formula for the names of its
> characters, it's certain to be crap! I've already heard it described as all
> special effects and no story, with poor, self-conscious acting.
>
>
"papatine" is a typo, and he wasn't a father in the actual movies anyway.
-scratch
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58330 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 18:09 |
|
nemo wrote:
>
> It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as YxxH and
> it's the root of the word Allah.
wow, god was in the original trilogy?
-scratch
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58369 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 22:30 |
|
"scratch" <scratch [at] the-pentagon.com> wrote in message
news:GOZpe.87629$yV4.73317 [at] okepread03...
> nemo wrote:
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:42A7E3B1.710091A9 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >>
> >>Captain Murphy wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>>"Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
> >>>
> >>>>Tim Bruening wrote:
> >>>>
> >>>>>Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> >>>>
> >>>>I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> >>>>speech.
> >>>>I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
> >>>>the movie balcony.
> >>>
> >>>Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
> >>
> >>In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to
> >
> > Tatooine
> >
> >>to have sex with Anakin's mother?
> >>
> >
> > Was there a character called Toluene by any chance? A glue-sniffer with
a
> > flaming temper who Asbestine protected everyone from?
> >
> > And was Papatine married to Mamatine? And what about the bald headed
> > character, Ovaltine?
> >
> > Seriously - if a film uses a childish formula for the names of its
> > characters, it's certain to be crap! I've already heard it described as
all
> > special effects and no story, with poor, self-conscious acting.
> >
> >
>
> "papatine" is a typo, and he wasn't a father in the actual movies anyway.
>
> -scratch
Somebosy nrrds a new keyboatd yhen!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58370 ] |
Do, 09 Juni 2005 22:31 |
|
"scratch" <scratch [at] the-pentagon.com> wrote in message
news:_QZpe.87630$yV4.80948 [at] okepread03...
> nemo wrote:
> >
> > It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as YxxH
and
> > it's the root of the word Allah.
>
> wow, god was in the original trilogy?
>
> -scratch
Spell him with a capital or he'll make you itch for all eternity!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #58478 ] |
Fr, 10 Juni 2005 09:21 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
>
> Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> night light.
Sith Lords actually fight with Dark Sabers.
> Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
Skivvy: Vampire underwear.
Undies: Demon briefs, or D. Briefs for short.
Indy: Demon car race.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59400 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 10:58 |
|
"scratch" <scratch [at] the-pentagon.com> wrote in message
news:_QZpe.87630$yV4.80948 [at] okepread03...
> nemo wrote:
> >
> > It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as YxxH
and
> > it's the root of the word Allah.
>
> wow, god was in the original trilogy?
>
> -scratch
>
(It'll get infected if you do that too often.)
Old Testament!
Keep watching out for those tyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsts!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59401 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 10:58 |
|
nemo wrote:
> "scratch" <scratch [at] the-pentagon.com> wrote in message
> news:_QZpe.87630$yV4.80948 [at] okepread03...
> > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as YxxH
> and
> > > it's the root of the word Allah.
> >
> > wow, god was in the original trilogy?
> >
> > -scratch
> >
> (It'll get infected if you do that too often.)
>
> Old Testament!
>
> Keep watching out for those tyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsts!
Who will flush the Bible down a toilet?
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59402 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 11:01 |
|
"nemo" <nemo [at] newtylust.nit> wrote in message
news:CG1qe.20625$bl3.17497 [at] fe1.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
>
> "scratch" <scratch [at] the-pentagon.com> wrote in message
> news:_QZpe.87630$yV4.80948 [at] okepread03...
> > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as
YxxH
> and
> > > it's the root of the word Allah.
> >
> > wow, god was in the original trilogy?
> >
> > -scratch
>
> Spell him with a capital or he'll make you itch for all eternity!
>
>
LOL!
Then he'll *really* get infected!
Septy Seamier! The seventh disease you can catch in a French brothel!
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59404 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 11:13 |
|
Tim Bruening wrote:
>
>>
>>Keep watching out for those tyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsts!
>
>
> Who will flush the Bible down a toilet?
>
there's no proof that they'd ever do such a thing.
-scratch
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59406 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 11:24 |
|
Padme and other liberal Senators make repeated attempts to cut off funding for
the Death Star.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59474 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 21:56 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42AAA7D0.53BE7F73 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "scratch" <scratch [at] the-pentagon.com> wrote in message
> > news:_QZpe.87630$yV4.80948 [at] okepread03...
> > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > It's what G*d was called in the O.T. before he declared himself as
YxxH
> > and
> > > > it's the root of the word Allah.
> > >
> > > wow, god was in the original trilogy?
> > >
> > > -scratch
> > >
> > (It'll get infected if you do that too often.)
> >
> > Old Testament!
> >
> > Keep watching out for those tyrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsts!
>
> Who will flush the Bible down a toilet?
I don't think so. They believe in the same Old Teatament as we do, but with
the Koran on top of it.
They might flush a separate New Testament down the toilet ice up hose
(brrr!).
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59475 ] |
Sa, 11 Juni 2005 21:59 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42AAADBA.4D5C7D1A [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Padme and other liberal Senators make repeated attempts to cut off funding
for
> the Death Star.
>
Dubbaya would fund it though. It'd make a good replacement for Ronald
Ray-gun's starwars scheme!
Someone in need of praise and affection: Padme Yonder-Head.
Nemo
Numbo One Punster!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59531 ] |
So, 12 Juni 2005 12:42 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
>
> After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
>
> Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
>
> Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> formerly two-armed contestant.
>
> Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
>
> Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> button.
>
> Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
>
> Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> lines.
>
> Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
>
> Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> cash.
>
> That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> Vader's grill.
>
> To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
>
> We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
>
> Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
>
> Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
>
> Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
>
> "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
>
> After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
>
> Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
>
> Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
>
> Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
>
> Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> bastard adopts him!
>
> It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> relationship with Han.
>
> Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> the dork side.
>
> Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
>
> PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
>
> Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> before?
>
> Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
>
> The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
>
> The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
>
> The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> Mother F*cker."
>
> Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
>
> George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> instructor.
>
> Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
>
> Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> other than Jude Frickin' Law!
>
> Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> theory.
>
> A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
>
> In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
>
> The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> half-brother Ginko Biloba.
>
> Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
>
> It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> hemmorhdroids!
>
> The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
>
> Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
>
> That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> his ass.
>
> Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> night light.
>
> Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
>
> and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
>
> Anakin is a sled.
Thousands of Jedi Masters are accused of sexually molesting their
students in various Jedi Temples.
Jar Jar Binks sponsors the Republic Patriot Act to give security and
intelligence agencies more power to spy on people.
Republic prison guards are accused of stacking naked prisoners in
pyramids, putting leashes on them, and making them stand on boxes with
electrodes attached.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #59532 ] |
So, 12 Juni 2005 12:45 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
>
> After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
>
> Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
>
> Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> formerly two-armed contestant.
>
> Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
>
> Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> button.
>
> Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
>
> Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> lines.
>
> Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
>
> Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> cash.
>
> That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> Vader's grill.
>
> To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
>
> We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
>
> Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
>
> Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
>
> Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
>
> "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
>
> After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
>
> Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
>
> Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
>
> Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
>
> Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> bastard adopts him!
>
> It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> relationship with Han.
>
> Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> the dork side.
>
> Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
>
> PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
>
> Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> before?
>
> Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
>
> The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
>
> The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
>
> The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> Mother F*cker."
>
> Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
>
> George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> instructor.
>
> Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
>
> Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> other than Jude Frickin' Law!
>
> Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> theory.
>
> A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
>
> In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
>
> The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> half-brother Ginko Biloba.
>
> Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
>
> It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> hemmorhdroids!
>
> The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
>
> Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
>
> That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> his ass.
>
> Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> night light.
>
> Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
>
> and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
>
> Anakin is a sled.
Palpatine calls for constitutional amendments to ban homosexual
marriages, inter species marriage, and abortion. He also calls for a
constitutional amendment to permit prayers in schools.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #61832 ] |
Mi, 15 Juni 2005 17:01 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42AC1198.E58DB7A5 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Stan Jensen wrote:
>
> > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> >
> > After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> > spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> > his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
> >
> > Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
> >
> > Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> > formerly two-armed contestant.
> >
> > Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
> >
> > Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> > button.
> >
> > Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> > by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
> >
> > Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> > lines.
> >
> > Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> > Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
> >
> > Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> > cash.
> >
> > That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> > Vader's grill.
> >
> > To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> > Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> > with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
> >
> > We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> > his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
> >
> > Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> > Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
> >
> > Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
> >
> > Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
> >
> > "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> > shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
> >
> > After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> > Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
> >
> > Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
> >
> > Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
> >
> > Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> > appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
> >
> > Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> > bastard adopts him!
> >
> > It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> > relationship with Han.
> >
> > Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> > the dork side.
> >
> > Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
> >
> > PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> > steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
> >
> > Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> > before?
> >
> > Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
> >
> > The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
> >
> > The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
> >
> > The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> > Mother F*cker."
> >
> > Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> > "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
> >
> > George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> > instructor.
> >
> > Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
> >
> > Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> > other than Jude Frickin' Law!
> >
> > Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> > theory.
> >
> > A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> > lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
> >
> > In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
> >
> > The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> > half-brother Ginko Biloba.
> >
> > Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
> >
> > It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> > hemmorhdroids!
> >
> > The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
> >
> > Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> > ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
> >
> > That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> > his ass.
> >
> > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > night light.
> >
> > Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
> >
> > and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
> >
> > Anakin is a sled.
>
> Thousands of Jedi Masters are accused of sexually molesting their
> students in various Jedi Temples.
Whacko Jacko could play one of those. They could save money on the costume
too. He already has a built-in mask!
>
> Jar Jar Binks sponsors the Republic Patriot Act to give security and
> intelligence agencies more power to spy on people.
>
> Republic prison guards are accused of stacking naked prisoners in
> pyramids, putting leashes on them, and making them stand on boxes with
> electrodes attached.
So they've started torturing boxes now?
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #61833 ] |
Mi, 15 Juni 2005 17:03 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42AC1233.AAE4C04A [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Stan Jensen wrote:
>
> > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> >
> > After several years at the Intergalactic Berlitz Academy, Chewbacca
> > spoke 14 languages fluently. Then came his habit of chewing tobacco,
> > his throat cancer, the laryngectomy and the nickname.
> >
> > Britney Spears and Han Solo were married for a few weeks.
> >
> > Chewbacca finishes second in a holographic chess tournament, won by a
> > formerly two-armed contestant.
> >
> > Darth Vader's power really comes from Cheez-Its and Kellogg's Corn
> >
> > Fight scene involving Obi-Wan's lightsaber and Padme's distended belly
> > button.
> >
> > Jar Jar inadvertently allows Chancellor Palpatine to create the Empire
> > by introducing a measure in the Galactic Senate to end the filibuster.
> >
> > Samuel L. Jackson managed to keep a straight face while reciting his
> > lines.
> >
> > Steven Tyler cameos as an undercover agent trying to keep tabs on the
> > Dark Side in the drag guise of Big Mama-Kin Skywalker.
> >
> > Surprise cameo featuring George Lucas rolling around in a pile of
> > cash.
> >
> > That scene where Triumph the Insult Comic Dog gets all up in Darth
> > Vader's grill.
> >
> > To improve the acting range and add depth to the Anakin
> > Skywalker/Darth Vader character, Hayden Christensen shares screen time
> > with his "Attack of the Clones" action figure.
> >
> > We learn that Yoda developed his backward speech style as a joke for
> > his 300th birthday and liked it so much he just kept it.
> >
> > Weird alien bar scene features Michael Jackson, Anne Heche and Mike
> > Tyson as a 10,000 Maniacs tribute band.
> >
> > Yoda has a pet wamp rat named Fluffy.
> >
> > Yoda? Hermaphrodite.
> >
> > "Marry Padme you did, but father her children you did not. That
> > shorter Jedi did, hmmm?"
> >
> > After the end credits, there's a still shot of George Lucas' ass.
> > Tattooed upon it are the words "Kiss It Again, Fanboys."
> >
> > Anakin Skywalker descends into hell, becoming gangsta rapper Darth V.
> >
> > Anakin grows up to become not Darth Vader, but Captain Kirk.
> >
> > Attempting to repair deeply rooted public disdain, Jar Jar Binks
> > appears in a scene with Jane Fonda.
> >
> > Darth Vader *does* betray and murder Luke's father. And then the
> > bastard adopts him!
> >
> > It quickly becomes obvious that Chewbacca was the man in his later
> > relationship with Han.
> >
> > Millions of geeks stayed up late Wednesday night to feel the power of
> > the dork side.
> >
> > Obi-Wan throws Darth Vader his cloak in exchange for a Coke.
> >
> > PG-13 rating may actually be rather charitable, considering that
> > steamy Jabba the Hutt sex scene.
> >
> > Palpatine is actually Darth Sidious? Gosh, why didn't I notice that
> > before?
> >
> > Pregnant, schmegnant -- she's *still* hot.
> >
> > The cameo by Buzz Lightyear.
> >
> > The dark side of Yoda? Fozzie Bear!
> >
> > The leather holster for Mace Windu's lightsaber clearly reads "Bad
> > Mother F*cker."
> >
> > Anakin's trip to the Dark Side begins with a marathon session of
> > "Magic: The Gathering" in a damp basement.
> >
> > George Lucas does a Hitchcock-style cameo as the Jedi Macarena
> > instructor.
> >
> > Wookiee planet populated by thousands of Robin Williams clones.
> >
> > Who's that scrunching himself up to get inside the Yoda suit? None
> > other than Jude Frickin' Law!
> >
> > Jabba and Kirstie Alley appear on-screen together. So much for *that*
> > theory.
> >
> > A Jedi mutters, "Why the hell is this guy still here?!?" then swiftly
> > lightsaber-beheads Jar Jar Binks.
> >
> > In the end they eat Yoda and decide he tastes like asparagus.
> >
> > The second half is nothing but Jar Jar Binks fishing with his
> > half-brother Ginko Biloba.
> >
> > Chancellor Palpatine played by now-wrinkly Mark Hamill.
> >
> > It's finally revealed why C-3PO is such a pain in the ass:
> > hemmorhdroids!
> >
> > The mystery of Michael Jackson's origin is still unanswered.
> >
> > Rumors of on-screen allusions to the Bush administration are
> > ridiculous. George W. Bush looks nothing like Chancellor W. Palpatine.
> >
> > That "Star Wars" kid from the Internet video totally handed Skywalker
> > his ass.
> >
> > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > night light.
> >
> > Tabloid pics of Darth Vader doing laundry on Tatooine in his skivvies.
> >
> > and the Number 1 Biggest Surprise in the New "Star Wars" Movie...
> >
> > Anakin is a sled.
>
> Palpatine calls for constitutional amendments to ban homosexual
> marriages, inter species marriage, and abortion. He also calls for a
> constitutional amendment to permit prayers in schools.
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #61882 ] |
Do, 16 Juni 2005 00:26 |
|
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Captain Murphy wrote:
>
> > "Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
> > >Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> > >I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> > >speech.
> > >I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
> > >the movie balcony.
> >
> > Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
>
> In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to Tatooine
> to have sex with Anakin's mother?
Remember at the end of Ep I, he said, "Good job Annie, I've been
watching your carer [his mom] with great interest."
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #61885 ] |
Do, 16 Juni 2005 00:32 |
|
Bart wrote:
> Yeah - but do you have anything that's funny?
He was trying to be funny? Let me read again. No, I don't get that.
While I don't remember any of that happening in E3, perhaps I'm missing
some subtle metaphor for some things I should have been looking out
for.
Was Britney spears in one of the trade federation costumes possibly?
One of them did have fairly big boobies for being an alien. Hmmm. I'm
just confused. :(
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #62471 ] |
Do, 16 Juni 2005 17:13 |
|
"Master Alf" <john.gagon [at] gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1118874378.385001.132310 [at] o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
>
>
> Tim Bruening wrote:
>> Captain Murphy wrote:
>>
>> > "Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
>> > >Tim Bruening wrote:
>> > >> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
>> > >I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
>> > >speech.
>> > >I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump off
>> > >the movie balcony.
>> >
>> > Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
>>
>> In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to
>> Tatooine
>> to have sex with Anakin's mother?
>
> Remember at the end of Ep I, he said, "Good job Annie, I've been
> watching your carer [his mom] with great interest."
Uh, no, that's not what he says.
Venger
|
|
|
| Re: - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #65169 ] |
Di, 21 Juni 2005 11:34 |
|
He says "I'll watch your career" not your carer
"Master Alf" <john.gagon [at] gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1118874378.385001.132310 [at] o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
>
>
> Tim Bruening wrote:
> > Captain Murphy wrote:
> >
> > > "Cheeze" <csmarasigan [at] gmail.com> said:
> > > >Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >> Papatine tells Anakin "I am your father".
> > > >I actually thought he was going to say this after the Dart Plageious
> > > >speech.
> > > >I was getting ready to shout my "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then jump
off
> > > >the movie balcony.
> > >
> > > Well, he basically did, just not in those exact words.
> >
> > In what way is Papatine Anakin's father? When did he sneak off to
Tatooine
> > to have sex with Anakin's mother?
>
> Remember at the end of Ep I, he said, "Good job Annie, I've been
> watching your carer [his mom] with great interest."
>
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #65928 ] |
Do, 23 Juni 2005 10:00 |
|
Stan Jensen wrote:
> Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
>
> Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> night light.
Sith Lords actually fight with Dark Sabers.
The Empire bans the teaching of evolution in schools.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #66458 ] |
Fr, 24 Juni 2005 02:30 |
|
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42BA6E4B.C4701881 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Stan Jensen wrote:
>
> > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> >
> > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > night light.
>
> Sith Lords actually fight with Dark Sabers.
>
> The Empire bans the teaching of evolution in schools.
Sounds like they don't know what they're Darwin!
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #66491 ] |
Fr, 24 Juni 2005 09:16 |
|
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BA6E4B.C4701881 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Stan Jensen wrote:
> >
> > > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> > >
> > > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > > night light.
> >
> > Sith Lords actually fight with Dark Sabers.
> >
> > The Empire bans the teaching of evolution in schools.
>
> Sounds like they don't know what they're Darwin!
The Empire bans stem cell research.
|
|
|
| Re: [HUMOR] - Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie [message #66492 ] |
Fr, 24 Juni 2005 09:18 |
|
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BA6E4B.C4701881 [at] pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Stan Jensen wrote:
> >
> > > Biggest Surprises in the New "Star Wars" Movie
> > >
> > > Anakin is actually afraid of the dark and uses his lightsaber as a
> > > night light.
> >
> > Sith Lords actually fight with Dark Sabers.
> >
> > The Empire bans the teaching of evolution in schools.
>
> Sounds like they don't know what they're Darwin!
Republic Senators accuse Palpatine of getting caught in a quagmire.
|
|
|
Gehe zu:
aktuelle Zeit: Mi Mai 23 15:45:02 CEST 2012
Insgesamt benötigte Zeit, um die Seite zu erzeugen: 0,07957 Sekunden |
